The Baron's Mailbag

Today I am going to start a new feature in my blog. It is called a mailbag. In the following lines of text I will answer questions that have been presented to me by my readers. I will do my best to answer all of the questions and if you do not see them in this mailbag you will see them in a future one. Oh and if you want to send the Baron a question hit me up on my Twitter or by email. So let’s see what’s in the bag and get this thing started.

How do you feel about the real possibility of Toyota winning the NASCAR Winston Cup?
~RLB

The good news is Toyota will never win a Winston Cup but the bad news is it is possible that they will win a Sprint Cup. However if Toyota does win a Sprint Cup I will feel like I’ve failed as an American. So I’m holding out hope that Denny Hamlin and Kyle Busch don’t win. I’d rather see Jimmie Johnson win a 5th straight Sprint Cup championship then a Toyota driver hoist the trophy.

If you were an appliance what would you be?
~Nicole

This is an interesting question for sure. I would have to say a keggerator because if it was up to me I would always be full of beer.


What is the Baron’s Babe of the Year?
~Brandon

This question is a little tough. This is not so much a lady that would show up on the Baron’s top 5. The qualifications for the Baron’s babe of the year are she has to be relevant in the current calendar year and she has to be hot. So with that in mind I would have to say Erin Andrews. She has made a step up at ESPN. She does the sideline reporting with ESPN’s top broadcast team, she is part of College Game Day, She was in the top 4 on Dancing with the Stars, and she also does the College World Series.

If the Baron was stuck drinking 1 beer and 1 liquor for the rest of his life…what beer and what liquor would he choose?
~Brandon

This is a tough question because I like a lot of different types of beer. I really enjoy Imperial Stouts and enjoy them even more when they are barrel aged. The problem is this beer is not ideal for the summer months when it is hot because it is such a heavy beer. The other problem is most places that make a good imperial stout only make them seasonally. In the summer I like a good Wheat beer. However too many of them and they start to get too sweet. This is why the Bud and Bud Light beers are still very popular. They are not heavy, they get the job done, and they are good all year long. The downside being there is not enough flavors. I would choose Lienenkugel’s Sunset Wheat as my only bear for the rest of my life. The liquor is not as tough because I don’t drink too much liquor but when I do it’s usually Bourbon so now I just need to pick one. I would choose to drink Bowman Brother’s Single barrel bourbon. It is distilled in my home town of Spotsylvania, VA

What was the greatest party you ever attended?
~Marty

The problem with this question is that I have been to a lot of really good parties. The first one that came to mind though is the Pastel Party that my friends through at their house which was known as the Country Club. The premise was everyone had to wear Pastel colors. The theory was chicks like pastel colors so they will show up to the party. The party was insane and sorostitutes galore showed up. At one point one of the members of the house left the house because in his words, “the party had taken on a life of its own and could not be controlled.” Another resident of the house was deathly ill and before the party wrote his will. In his Will he left me his girlfriend and my friend JD his car. To be honest though this is just one of the few parties I remember from college so it may not be the greatest and only my subconscious will know the true answer to this question.

What are your thoughts on Kim Kardashian dating Cowboys wide receiver Miles Austin?
~Schliz

I think the real question here is what Miles Austin has to say about having Reggie Bush and Ray Jay’s sloppy seconds. What would possess a man to date a chick who is only famous because she made a sex tape with Brandy’s brother? Oh wait, I do know the answer to that but a girl like that do you really need to date her to get goods? Anyway I think for a kid like Miles Austin who came from New Jersey and is now the top receiver for the Cowboys why wouldn’t you date Kim Kardashian, at least it’s not Kourtney.

If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go, who would you go with and why?
~Heather

I would go to Munich, Germany for Oktoberfest. I would take my Fraternity brothers (you know who you are). I would drink until I blacked out and drink some more. It would be the best month of our lives.

If you could be a color what would you be?
~Nicole

My favorite color is blue but who wants to be blue? Not me that’s who. I would be blaze orange because then everyone would see me even in the woods.

Would you rather…be a country music sensation, NASCAR driver, or Royal Baron? Why?
~Spencer

I’ve always wanted to be a country music sensation and a NASCAR driver. But I think the Royal Baron would be the best…oh wait I am a Baron so I would choose country music sensation because that would also gain me access to NASCAR tracks around the USA. I could also do a music video where we drove stock cars and that would satisfy my need of driving in NASCAR until the next time I need to drive 200mph.

If CvL won the lottery (for shits and giggles say a billion dollars), what are the first 5 things he buys?
~Brandon

I would buy a 2010 Camaro SS, a beach house in the Outer Banks of North Carolina, I would buy the Philadelphia Eagles and finally bring a Super Bowl Championship to Philadelphia, I would buy a Chevy Silverado 2500 with muddin’ tires and a 6 inch lift, and I would buy a NASCAR team.

What is your favorite value meal at McDonalds?
~Spencer

The #1 is the way to go at McDonalds. Can you go wrong with 2 all beef patties, lettuce, special sauce on a sesame seed bun? No.

The 6 fouls rule in the NBA. Is this necessary? I mean, pass interference in college is 15 yards – in the NFL its SPOT OF THE FOUL. In college basketball its 5 fouls…why the 6th foul for the “pro” athlete.
~Brandon

The real reasons for the extra foul and Stern will never admit this is “pro” athletes make too much money to not be playing. Fans pay to go see the stars play for their team. If that star fouls out of the game fans feel cheated. This is why there is an extra foul in the NBA.

I know we have a long history, beginning in 2001 at Michigan. I have had my ups. I have had my downs. But I appreciate you always having my back, being a Michigan guy and all. With my recent DWI arrest and ridiculous facial hair, you must see how much of an idiot I am. Please tell me I am a "lock" for the Paris Hilton Idiot of the Week honor.
-Braylon Edwards

Braylon when you were wearing the 1 jersey for the University of Michigan I loved watching you pulled down passes and score touchdowns. However what were you thinking going out and drinking with a guy who just over a year ago killed someone while drinking and driving? Then you thought it would be a good idea to get behind the wheel of a car drunk in a city that has more cabs than any other city in the country. Braylon for this you are the Paris Hilton Award for Idiot of the week this year. Plus the beard was cool but do you have tweet and hash tag #thebeard. The sad part is you are late to the game because Jayson Werth was already called the Beard. So get it together and represent the University of Michigan proudly and stop doing stupid things like drinking and driving. The worst part about this was how good I felt after you scored that touchdown against the Patriots on Sunday and then jumped up and did the Dougie. All that good faith is gone.

The Baron’s “Pass List.” Meaning, who are the top 5 ladies the Baron has a “pass” to RNI whether in a relationship or not if they came knockin’ on the Baron’s door.
~Brandon

This should be easy the good news is I had this discussion the other day with friends.

1) Jessica Biel
2) Mila Kunis
3) Eva Mendes
4) Megan Fox
5) Allyson Hannigan


Where do babies come from?
~Nicole

Hold one…

Most attractive male friend?
~ Spencer

Wait for it?

Do you choose beer?
~S Money

Yep these are my readers/friends.

Here are the Baron’s College football Picks for Week 4.

NC State over Georgia Tech
Virginia Tech over Boston College
Arkansas over Alabama
Stanford over Notre Dame
South Carolina over Auburn
Kentucky over Florida

Week 3 College Football Picks and Some Other Rankings

So far the Baron has been doing pretty good with his NCAA picks. My record stands at 11-3. The football season has lived up to all of my expectations so far. Michigan is out to a 2-0 start just like last year. This year I hope they stay the course. Denard “Shoelace” Robinson is a beast putting up 502 total yards against Notre Dame. The Big East and the ACC are waiting for basketball season to start again so they can flex their athletic muscles again. In case Duke Fans are confused you are playing Alabama’s football team this week. Oh and Bama’s defense hasn’t allowed an offensive touchdown all season. The SEC sits atop the college football world again right now which brings me to my conference rankings.

1) SEC
2) Big Ten
3) Big XII
4) Pac – 10
5) Mountain West
6) ACC
7) Big East

Now on to my weekly picks.
Michigan State over Notre Dame
Iowa over Arizona
WVU over Maryland
Stanford over Wake Forest
BYU over Florida State
Auburn over Clemson
East Carolina over Virginia Tech (sorry Tech fans but you did just lose to JMU)

My last installment for week 3 is going to be the 5 disappointments from week 2. I could write my top 5 or my bottom 5 but I will leave that to the professionals. This way I can point my finger at the teams that lost the previous week and remind them one last time that they failed epically.

1) Virginia Tech – I should congratulate JMU instead of poke more fun at the Hokies but that’s not the point. Tech lost to FCS JMU. I won’t say anything except now Hokie Nation knows how the Wolverines feel after losing to Appalachian State. I will give you this advice: 3 years later and it still hurts like the day I witnessed it in the Big House. The downside for Hokie fans is JMU probably isn’t winning the National Championship this year.

2) Minnesota – Even though you were not ranked like VA Tech you still lost to an opponent from a lesser league. Epic Fail! At least you have the colder months to look forward to in your year old outdoor stadium. If I were Minnesota I would schedule some teams from warmer climates for later in the season it could help get a win or two on the record.

3) Florida State - For a team looking at moving back into National Prominence they took a step back by getting beat by 30 points against Oklahoma. Sure OU was ranked, but if you want to be taken seriously this was not the way to get it done.

4) Georgia Tech – Another ACC team that showed it didn’t deserve its ranking and losing to unranked Kansas.

5) Georgia – Not a touchdown scored against a conference team. Either South Carolina is the real deal or Georgia isn’t very good.

Stay tuned for the Paris Hilton Idiot of the Week Award.

Paris Hilton Award & College Football Picks

I almost forgot about these this week. I'm sitting in Richmond, VA waiting on a friend so we can go drink morning beers at a NASCAR tailgate. I'm typing this on my phone so I apologize for no pictures and any misspellings.

Lets start with the Paris Hilton Award for the idiot of the week. The award goes to Roger Clemens. The man is being charged with perjury for lying to Congress about his use of performance enhancing drugs while playing Major League Baseball. The proof was there in the Mitchell Report and they had his supplier willing to testify. Roger sjould've learned from A-Rod and Big Mac. These men came came clean about the use of PEDs and have almost been forgiven fort their involvement. Roger however lied to Congress anf could go to jail for it.

The runner up this week was Congress forgetting involved with any of this in the first place. Especially when the economy was tanking and we were involved in two wars at the time.

Last weeks college picks were pretty good for me. I picked Cincy wrong and that was it.

This weeks games:
Michigan over the Golden Helmets of Notre Dame.
Bama over Penn State
Ohio State over Miami
West Virginia over Marshall
South Carolina over Georgia
Florida State over Oklahoma

If anyone is going to the race look for me there. War Tony Stewart!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.9

College Football

I wanted to tweet about this today but it would’ve taken more than 140 characters. Last night the Big Ten announced the new Divisions once Nebraska officially joins the Conference. A lot of speculation was made during the week about how this would affect “The Game.” It doesn’t need to be referred to by any other name because those around college football and many who don’t follow college football know about “The Game” between Ohio State and Michigan. Recently it hasn’t meant as much because Michigan has been playing something that barely resembles football. (Thanks Coach Rod, Can I get my old CARR back?) But back to my point, the tradition of Ohio State-Michigan is that it has always been the last game of the Big 10 Season and many years determined who would play in the Rose Bowl as Conference championship. On numerous occasions this game has determined who would play for the National Championship.

With the addition of the 12th team in the Big Ten the Conference had to make a decision, a decision that could affect The Game in some way or another. The first question was whether to place Michigan and Ohio State in the same conference, much like Texas and Oklahoma. This would ensure the two teams would play each other every year. The game could still be held the last weekend of regular season games for the Big Ten and would have the stakes it needed to be a relevant game. The winner goes on to play for the Conference championship the next weekend. This is the situation I liked the most. Another popular option was having the two teams in separate conferences but making sure they still played every year to keep The Game alive. A lot of people liked this idea as well. This according to people who understand the economics of college football better than I do is the best financial option for the Big Ten. This plan could go one of two ways as well. Michigan and Ohio State would play earlier in the year just like Texas and Oklahoma. However the teams could still win their divisions and play again in the Conference Championship. The second way would be to still have Michigan and Ohio State play the last regular season game but if both win their divisions they would play again the following week. There are multiple reasons this is a bad idea. If one team knows it’s still going to the Conference Championship game will they rest their players like coaches do in the PRO’s? Plus it’s hard enough to win the first game every year imagine how much tougher it will be to win it twice in one year.
Ultimately I think having the two teams in opposing divisions within the conference devalues The Game. It won’t mean as much IF they play twice a year. This brings me to my last point who says these two teams are going to make the Conference Championship every year or even once a decade. Michigan doesn’t look like it will make it there ever again. Even on good years Michigan will have to beat Iowa, Michigan State, and Nebraska to make it to the game. Ohio State has to beat Wisconsin and Penn State. The Big Ten see’s dollar signs and more views coming to their network and that is why they decided to have Michigan and Ohio State play in opposing divisions and why some years we may get back to back games of Michigan and Ohio State.

Here’s my final thought on this: UVA and VT, UT and OU, Auburn and Bama are all in the same division and those games are still big for college football fans.

As for the way the teams fall in their respective conferences it makes little sense to me. It would make more sense to have and North/South or East/West geographical split. Although then the balance would be off.

Predictions:

Week 1 Picks:
Utah vs. Pitt: Utah
Illinois vs. Missouri: Mizzou
WVU vs. Coastal Carolina: WVU (i'll be in attendance)
Michigan vs. UConn: Go Blue (Mich wins)
Oregon St vs. TCU: Oregon St
Boise St. vs. Va Tech: Boise St.
UK vs. Louisville: UK



Conference Winners:

SEC: Alabama
Pac10: Not USC…Oregon State
Big Ten: IOWA
Big East: not worth a pick, Cincy
ACC: Is it basketball season yet? Va Tech.
Big 12: Texas

The National Championship game will be Alabama over Boise State in a close one.
Sorry Tech fans that does mean I think Boise shocks the world over the weekend. Although does Boise State still get Shock the world status?

The Flooding of the Nile

Lets Party! This weekend my friends threw a party. The fields were fertile and the seed was sown. The theme was Egyptian and costumes were warned. There was need for celebration because the famine was over and the people would hunger no more. Nobody needed to worry if friends were going without anymore. The people of Egypt were once again happy and satisfied and fulfilled. The party was a great time and I’m really thankful for the friends I have because I can’t think of anyone else who would go through a quarter what my friends went through to put on the part this weekend and for the reason the party was thrown. If you don’t know why the party was thrown I apologize but you’ll just have to guess.

The afternoon started with everyone getting into Pharaoh like costumes and one person dressed as Boutros Boutros-Ghali. Some of my friends are very clever. Once costumes were on the guests arrived by passing through one of the Great Pyramids and were greeted with a glass of sangria. If you are wondering how a Pyramid was imported to Falls Church…it was built but no stone or mud was involved. We started with some games of V King and Can Jam. Then around 5:15 there was a surprise. An unfamiliar woman had shown up to the party. My first instinct is that she is a stripper. Boy was I wrong. The woman was a belly dancer come to show us some traditional Egyptian dances. At one point she taught us a dance each move had to do with a Kabob. When she said Chicken we swung our hips to our left and when she said Onion we swung our hips to the right. Then she would say Pepper and we would stick our back sides out and when she said BEEF we would thrust forward. So we practiced moving our hips all over and laughing every time we practiced BEEF. The next day we walked around saying Beef –Pepper, Beef-Pepper.

After the Belly dancer left we ate dinner which was followed by a ceremony. By this time of the night most of us were pretty intoxicated. I will tell you the parts I remember. At this time I was given a Pharaoh’s hat to wear and told to take my shirt off. The next thing I remember is the girls were rubbing body paint all over my stomach, chest, and back. Then everyone brought sacrifices to throw in the fire to honor me. I can only imagine what people thought if they saw what was going on. One person brought a discharged shotgun shell and a shotgun shell that needed to be discharged, another person brought a hungry man dinner because now that I had a girlfriend I will no longer be hungry, and another brought a picture of a damn. I apologize to anyone I didn’t mention but I don’t remember all of them. The final part of the ceremony I was given sunflower seeds and told to take them to all of the women and spread my seed. At which point the girls would take a couple and then I would toss a couple on them.

The night ended with a dance party.

The night was great and I had a blast. If anyone else who was there would like to add their stories in the comments I welcome it because I cannot recall them all.
If you are look for a reason to party on Thursday night throw a 90210 themed party because it will be 9/02/10. Decorate your room like the Peach Pit and dress like your favorite character but stick to the original version the new one blows.

****Pictures will come later once someone posts them on FaceBook****

The Paris Hilton Award: Presented for the Idiot of the Week

This weekly award might possibly turn into a weekly awards post but for right now it will just be the one award until I come up with some other ones to give out.

I heard the story about Paris Hilton getting arrested in Vegas for possession of coke. It doesn’t surprise me that she uses any form of illegal substance. What stuck out in this story to me was her claim that she thought the cocaine was bubble gum. If I was the arresting officer I would’ve given her a stick of gum and said snort this up your nose then tell me what this really is in your purse. I could be wrong but I’ve never seen gum come in a powdery form there is usually a powdery substance on the gum, but as a whole it is usually rectangular in shape. Sometimes gum looks like chew, tape, or even cigarettes but never seen it in a powder. On top of her ridiculous claim of cocaine being bubble gum she then changed her story multiple times. If you do decide to lie you should stick to the same story. Anyways while thinking of a name for this weekly award and trying not to name it after any of the other similar awards like the Darwin Award or the Dumbass Award (pronounced Dumas), I decided that the original recipient of this award should bear that honor and will from hear out call this the Paris Hilton Idiot of the week award.