Bar Crawl Retro Diary

This weekend was the annual Bar Crawl that I started with my friend Chuck 5 years ago. It’s still unofficial and is just a reason for us to get together with friends and drink large quantities of alcohol, but one day we hope to make this a marquee event in Fredericksburg, VA. Here is a little history about the crawl before I get into this year’s events. Chuck and I were once roommates and sometimes drinking was never enough so we would give ourselves little challenges. It started with Chuck challenging me to drink all of the beers that Fatty J’s had on draft. They had 13-15 beers on tap at the time and it took me 3 or 4 visits to try them all. Chuck gave me a month to complete the challenge so that was easy. Once I finished that one he came up with having me drink a beer at every bar in the city limits of Fredericksburg. This one was a little more challenging. Just like before I had a month to complete the task. Earlier that year I attended my first bar crawl in Ghent with my friend Jason. It was a great time so I upped the challenge Chuck gave me to all of the bars in one day and let’s invite a bunch of our friends to do it with us. This took place the summer of 2005 we had around 10 people join us at 11am at Bailey’s Pub in central Park. We finished the crawl 13 hours later at Fatty on the Water (Wings on the Water). In all we had a drink at 24 bars that day. There are stories from that crawl that I will not write in this blog, but will tell you in person if you ask.

How did we find those 24 bars? That was easy we went to YellowPages.com. We didn’t count places that were mainly restaurants like Friday’s and Applebee’s. Chuck and I scouted out a couple of questionable establishments prior to the tour and narrowed the list to the 24 bars we visited that day. The second year we wanted to continue the bar crawl and some of our friends were asking if we were doing one again so we narrowed the crawl down to only Downtown Bars so we could park and walk. In total it was only about 8 blocks of walking the whole day and there were 12 bars included. We’ve seen bars open and close their doors over the past few years, but there have always been enough to do the crawl. This year we only had 9 bars.

Some of you who read Bill Simmons column on ESPN may be familiar with his Retro diaries. He typically writes a time stamped column while rewatching a sporting event. That is the basis I am using for this blog except I’m going to try to remember the events of the evening as they happened or were told to me by others involved. Remember this was a bar crawl and I was drinking so as the night went on memories are fuzzy but that just means the story might be crazier. Times are approximate and I was drinking not looking at my watch. I’m basing the times on the position of the sun.

3:00pm: I arrived at the Rec Center with my brother (Brian), Ryan, Danielle and Matt. We met up with Chuck and the group that met at his house. There were 8 people that met at his house. Another 7 people met up with us later. The Rec Center actually isn’t a Rec Center. Outside there is a sign that reads “Worlds Best Hot Dogs,” I don’t believe that at all. This bar is the biggest Dive in Fredericksburg to my knowledge. The usually group are older mustached men and women whose faces are wrinkled from smoking their whole lives. So needless to say we get some looks when we enter. If you ever want a $1.25 PBR this is the place for you, but remember they close at 4pm. The Baron’s drink choice: PBR.

3:20pm: Stop number 2 was at the Capitol Ale House. This is a great place to go if you like to drink beer. It has the largest selection of beer on tap and in the bottle. The problem with a place like this is it takes forever for people to order. It’s the only bar people stray away from drinking their usual domestic beers. I snuck down to the beer cellar here. There was a sign and I’ve always wanted to know what was down there so I just walked on down and checked it out. The door to the cellar was locked but there were windows so I could see what they kept back there. I’m not sure what type of beer was there but it looked fancy. One thing I found odd here was at the end of the bar a father sat with his 2 sons. One of them was around 10 and the other around 8 maybe. They could barely reach the bar. The youngest one was drinking milk. My issue was they were taking up valuable real estate at the bar and I always thought you had to be 21 to sit at the bar. Although I did think it was funny the kid was drinking milk at the bar, for some reason I thought of those scenes in old westerns when the guy walks into the saloon and orders milk. This is also where 4 more people joined our tour. The Baron’s drink choice: Purple Haze.

4:10pm: Stop number 3 was at Fatty J’s. We spent some time here because this is where we got food. Fatty J’s was my go to bar during and after college. It was a great bar scene, had awesome waitresses, and good service. It was also a good place to go and watch a football game. I would spend all day on Sunday during football season at Fatty’s. Now the bar is only beat out by the Rec Center as the biggest dive in the city and it caters to a different crowd. It’s not even the best sports bar in town. It’s sad to see what has happened to Fatty J’s over the years. Nothing really eventful happened here other than this is when people started to get a little buzz going and started interacting with people. We had two more people join the crawl here. The Baron’s drink choice: 24 oz Coors Light, it was a special for $3.

6:00pm: Stop number 4 was Spirits. Spirits is a pizzeria in Old Town Fredericksburg and rumor has it the building is haunted. We tend to have more fun with the juke box here then actually drinking. It’s also a dive and just recently moved ahead of Fatty’s, but that’s only because Fatty’s got so bad. Plus Spirits at least hires girls to work the bar. This is where people started feeling good on the Crawl. At one point Brownie started talking about watching Glee with his roommate and how they sang and danced to the Gaga episode. I just had to introduce him to Danielle. They held the funniest conversation about Glee. People would stand and listen and laugh as he talked and danced and sang. The Baron’s drink choice: Kamikazee ($3 dollar special, took a round with four others) Pitcher of Bud Light (Split with 3 others.)

6:30pm: Stop number 5 was Sammy T’s. If you are looking for vegetarian food this is the place for you in Fredericksburg. If you date a vegetarian this is the place to take her because they do have chicken tenders for us carnivores. We got in and got out of this place as fast as possible. We arrived and there were two people sitting at the bar, the bar stretched the length of the restaurant. Once we all arrived there was only standing room, yet they were not happy to see us. At one point a waitress told some patrons, “don’t worry about them, they are on a bar crawl and will be leaving soon.” This is also when my sister joined the group. The Baron’s drink choice: Star Hill’s Lucy.

7:00pm: Stop number 6 was J. Bryan’s. J. Bryan’s was the first of 3 Irish Bars we would stop at during the Crawl. The Bar area is small so we never stay too long here either. At one point I walked from one side of the bar to the other and in the process one of the girls grabbed another girl’s chest and then grabbed mine for comparison. I asked if I could play but didn’t get a response. Remember this story for later. The Baron’s drink choice: Jim Beam and Coke.

7:25pm: While leaving J. Bryan’s the girls each grabbed a guys arm and we walked to the next bar. I’m not sure why this happened or why we allowed it to happen. Oh wait, we were hammered.

7:30pm: Stop number 7 was The Blarney Stone. At this bar you have to walk through the dining area to get to the bar in the back. I always feel bad because people are eating and we are pretty drunk by the time we get here. The first thing I did when I arrived was find my dollar bill I stapled to the ceiling at last years crawl. It was still there. Ryan wanted to have a mixed drink with me at this bar and I wanted something Irish is nature. So I said let’s do a Car Bomb and he was drunk enough to agree. My brother in law Matt got in on this too. So I ordered three car bombs. The bartender brought them over and we turned them up. I’ve never drank anything so fast, it was gone after two swigs. I put the glass down and it looked like the other two barely started. After that I was talking at another table with people and this guy Joe who was on the crawl wanted to buy shots for the table. He asked what he should get and I told him, Jameson’s. Let’s just say we were enjoying the Irish bar. The Baron’s drink choice: Irish Car Bomb, Harp, Shot of Jameson’s.

8:20pm: As we are walking to the next bar one of the girls on the tour pulled her top down and flashed me. This was one of the girls from the story at J. Bryan's. Apparently I was not the only one who saw the goods that evening. Let’s just say everyone was feeling good at this point.

8:30pm: Stop number 8 was the Irish Brigade. It didn’t feel like we were here that long. I didn’t order a beer but I drank one. Things started to get real fuzzy at this point. The Baron’s drink choice: Smithwick’s.

9:00pm: Leaving the Irish Brigade we lost 3 people in the group to injury. One of them twisted there ankle and the other two drove them home.

9:05pm: Stop number 9 was at Brock’s. Brock’s is usually hopping on a Friday and Saturday night. They have a large outdoor patio with music and dancing. The problem was at 9:00pm it was still near the 90’s outside and humid as hell. So that left the indoor bar. The night began to wind down here but the drinking did not. I know I had 3 drinks here, but only remember what one of them was. The last 2 people to join the crawl showed up here, if they only knew what they missed out on. People just sat around at the bar, which wasn’t very busy yet and hung out and talked. The Baron’s drink choice: Unkown, Budweiser, Unknown.

10:00pm: The Baron is wasted. My Designated Driver showed up.

11:00pm: Passed Out.